Mr. Manners…

Mr. Manners…

“May I have some pussy please???”

“What??!” I busted out laughing. Did he just? What??? I sat there in the passenger seat completely confused. How did we get… here?

“Well I’m only in town for two more days”. He laughed awkwardly and looked over at me to finish his sentence….

“Erm Wheeet?!”

Let’s go back to how I met the pussy beggar.  I was freelancing and if you’ve ever freelanced for a living you know that the checks are not consistent in the beginning. It’s a constant struggle for work, so I picked up a retail job to have a somewhat stable source of income coming in on the side. There was this guy 6’4 extremely geeky, middle eastern,  no sense of style but extremely smart. I would over hear his conversations with my coworkers and they were always enlightening.

He would come into the store trying to match outfits himself until he would finally break down and ask one of us for help. It started with him getting help with anyone available and then slowly it would only be with me. He went from coming in once a month to several times a month looking for new clothes. I knew he didn’t need it he just liked coming in to talk. He was sweet and by the 3rd or 4th time he started to come to me, I finally noticed he was cute.

He was in medical school out of state and would come back to Jersey just to check on his family. One of the last times I saw him I was actually on my way home leaving the store as he was coming in. He seemed disappointed that I was leaving but I was in a rush, and took off thinking I would see him again in a week. I came in to work the next day to find out he spent a little over a thousand dollars on clothes crediting me for the sale. I also found out that he was going back to school and he only came back to grab some things and say bye. My middle eastern faux fashionista had left and I was a little sad about it.

He was the first customer I actually liked, matter fact the only customer I liked. Not romantically but he was just a sweet funny guy, and I was sad to see him go. Little did I know I would bump into him a year later under sad circumstances. His mother passed away and he came home to deal with planning the funeral and selling the house. I was hanging out at one of my favorite restaurants and bumped into him right outside. We exchanged numbers, texted back and forth for a bit and finally he asked me out on a date.

Our first date was at this well hidden Moroccan restaurant. The waitress came out when we initially walked in, he said something in Arabic and we were being led to the back in seconds. We tried several dishes out while eating with our hands and sitting on the floor. The place was beautifully decorated and the food was delicious. He took the lead and ordered for us since I wasn’t familiar with the menu items and I thought that was kind of sexy. The hookah was going and the place was crowded. The craziest part is when you walk into the restaurant it looked like a very plain deli. You would never know there was a whole party going on in the back in the middle of the day.

It was probably the most random fun night out I had in a long time. He was just as awkward and goofy as he was in the store. So well mannered and well spoken. He opened up and told me about his backstory and how his family had an arranged marriage set up for him after he finished medical school. How he was allowed to “do his thing and date whomever now” until he graduates. It didn’t turn me off because I knew this wasn’t going to be anything serious. He was sweet, such a gentlemen and we ended the night off great. He texted me a couple days later to go out again and I was down to see him. Why not?

He picked me up and we headed to the movies. He was a big Marvel fan (me too) so of course we ended up at whatever new movie they had out at the time. We died laughing on the way to the car. It was nice, we never had an awkward moment and it was like hanging out with a FRIEND. We sat in the car for a couple of minutes just laughing. Until I noticed this strange nervous look on his face….

It started making me nervous, why the hell is he looking at me like this? Is he sick? Is he sweating? Maybe I should just ask. “Whats wrong?”

“May I have some pussy please???”

What??!” I busted out laughing. Did he just? What??? I sat there in the passenger seat completely confused. How did we get… here? A minute ago we were replaying a movie scene, now I’m being asked for some pussy? I mean he was polite about it but damn! I thought maybe the movie theater food didn’t agree with him or something. This fool mustered all his strength to ask me this? No, maybe I heard him wrong.

“Um.. what are you talking about?” I was clutching my imaginary pearls at this point.

“Well I’m only in town for two more days”. He laughed awkwardly and looked over at me to finish his sentence….

“So…. you want some before you leave… from me?” The thing I was confused about the most is that he never brought anything sexual up. We never touched the topic at all, so I was confused to say the least.

“Yea, I feel like we have chemistry so why not?” He was so non chalant about the subject like he had just asked for extra honey mustard at the Chick Fil A drive thru.

“I’m sorry I don’t want to take it to that level with you. This is our second time hanging out, I barely know you”….

He adjusted his glasses and smirked. “Well if this will sway you… I have a pretty big cock….”

Moral of the Story…

Never Trust a geek with a big cock….